I’ve never been good at self evaluations, I’ve never been good a figuring out my strengths & weaknesses. I don’t have a five year plan or a ten year plan.
I feel as if I’m stumbling around unsure of what my future holds. Not being sure what career path to go down or where to even start on looking for a job. I sometimes feel like I’m stuck where I am not moving forward. Doing the same thing day in & day our. Stuck in this routine that sometimes I feel I’ll never get out of.
I never want to settle for a like that’s unexciting.
Yet sometimes I feel like all through college & university I never learn’t anything. That I’ve come out of it with a degree but not a clue as to how to work in the real world.
I almost feel as if I’m play pretending at a job. Remember when you were younger and you’d pretend you were a doctor or a teacher. I’d always pretend to have the same job as Rachel in Friends! You’d pretend to know what you were talking about. Pretend to know how to do the job. Well sometimes I feel like I’m still play pretending at my job.
Fake it till you make it as they say.
I’ve wanted to be a Make up Artist, a Journalist, a Broadcast Journalist. A Scriptwriter, an Actress, A Set Designer, an Event Planner.. Yet out of all these something has stopped me, whether that be my lack of ability to follow it through. Or my lack of confidence or being unable to figure out my skills. Or maybe I wasn’t passionate enough about them.
Although when I try to discover my passion, my dream job, what I want in the future (in regards to work) I come up blank. Its as if it’s at the tip of my tongue & I can’t figure out the word.
I need to get out of this routine of doing the same thing day in & day out. Maybe I need to try something new, maybe I need a change of scenery. Something to motivate me. Someone once said to me, “Everyday spent trying to peruse something is good. It’s true”, I just need to believe it a bit more.