I’ve never been good at self evaluations, I’ve never been good at figuring out my strengths & weaknesses. I don’t have a five year plan or a ten year plan. I don’t know what my goals are, I’ve never really felt that I’m good at anything.
It feels as if I’m stumbling around unsure of what my future holds. Not being sure what career path to go down or where to even start looking for a job. I sometimes feel like I’m stuck where I am, not moving forward. Doing the same thing day in and day out. Stuck in this routine that sometimes I feel I’ll never get out of.
Yet sometimes I feel like all through college / University I never learn’t anything. That I’ve come out of it with a degree but not a clue as to how to work in the real world.
It almost feels as if I’m play pretending at a job.. Remember when you were younger and you’d pretend you were a doctor or a teacher. You’d pretend to know how to do the job. Well I sometimes feel like I’m still play pretending at my job.
I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t have much confidence in myself that I will figure out what I’m good at. Or even how to be good at something enough to turn it into a career.
I’ve wanted to be a make – up artist, a journalist, a broadcast journalist, a script writer, a actress, a set designer, a blogger. And yet out of all those something has stopped me. Wither that be my lack of ability to follow it through or my lack of confidence or being unable to figure out my skills.
So when I try to discover my passion, my dream job even the skills I have, I come up blank. Its as if its a word at the tip of my tongue that I just can’t quite figure out.
Maybe I need to get out of this routine of doing the same thing day in & day out. Maybe I need to try something new, maybe I need a change of scenery. Something to motivate a change. I never want to settle for a life that’s unexciting so I think that’s where all this anxiety over my future comes from.
Someone once said to me every day spent trying to pursue something is good, and its true I just need to believe it a little more!