For the past 5 years I’ve had nothing but insecurities and been self conscious of my body.
I can’t wear tight clothing, you won’t catch me in a swimmer or bikini, wearing shorts or crop tops. As soon as I catch a glimpse of my body in an unflattering way my mood instantly changes.
Anything showing my waist is a no go, I can’t stand having anything tight fitting around my waist & hips area. “My Problem Areas.” Because I will automatically feel that its all anyone can see.
I’ve been told to snap out of it but its not that easy. To have these insecurities & for someone to tell you to snap out of it will never help. No matter how well you eat, how much weight you start to loose, how much you go to the gym. Getting over these insecurities takes time.
It makes me so angry & so upset that I can’t wear what I want because I feel nothing but self conscious in these clothes. And never mind stripping down into your undies or even worse nothing at all. Because all you feel is the person your with starting at your problem areas.
I recently went on holiday & the week before I spent a whole day crying over my insecurities. I was trying on bikini’s and all my summer dresses and all I could see was my insecurities. In the end I was dreading going on holiday as I felt that everyone is going to notice my imperfections.
I know it’s horrible to say you hate any part of your body because I’m grateful that I have a strong healthy body. But that day I hated everything about my body. I was so angry at myself for letting it affect me so much.
Now I’m not over weight, I try to eat a healthy diet. I go to the gym 4 times a week and I don’t aspire to be super model thin. I love that I have curves and I wouldn’t change that. What I want to change is my mentality towards my body shape, I want to stop having these insecurities.
By changing my diet and increasing my gym work outs I am starting to notices little differences for the better. My mentality is slowly slowly changing. These insecurities won’t go away overnight, they won’t go away in a month, they’ll go away when I start to love my body for how it is and I’m able to look past my own imperfections.
And back to my holiday, as you’ll see in these photos yes I wore a tight dress, I wore bikini’s “plural.” I wore shorts too no matter how much I hate wearing them… Because frankly I was too bloody hot to give a damn about what my stomach looked like…
I hope this post helped if you too have body insecurities. Its never easy too look past you insecurities especially in this world of social media and celebrities but one day we will look past it and love our imperfections.