Since the beginning of January I have been motivated to improve my life. It was as if as soon as the clock struck 12 I had all the motivation I’d been lacking for the past few months back.
Even though I’ve been extremely motivated it has led me to the feeling of jealousy or envy, maybe even a lack of self confidence to put it in better terms.
Scrolling through Instagram, reading blogs and I’m seeing beautiful photography and thoughtfully written out posts. On one hand it’s motivating me to post more but on the other hand it makes me incredibly self conscious.
I’m fully in awe of all the embers talent that I am witnessing and it helps me to do better.
I have posted probably no more than a handful of images in the last 5 months and my posts on the blog have been thrown together which makes me unhappy and I think that’s where the lack of self confidence comes from.
I know it’s not the end of the world if I don’t post but with the blog you have to keep up on social media to allow for the blog to grow.
The reason I haven’t been posting much is because I don’t feel that they are good enough or “fit into my Instagram grid” and in this world of the internet I feel that it is sometimes a pressure to always do better.
I want my Instagram and blog to look appealing. I defiantly need to improve my skills with photography something that I used to love doing.
It comes from my need to be a perfectionist, I go to take a flat lay image and the background isn’t right or the lightings off and the image ends up looking dull and lifeless, or the angle and surroundings don’t fit right.
I’ve missed documenting so much in the past few months just because I’ve been feeling so unconfident in my skills.
I have a lot of great posts written out but I haven’t gotten round to posting them because I have no good images to go along with them and I don’t want to have half hearted or borrowed images for these posts that I’ve put a lot of work into.
I know it’s something that everyone feels at some point in this industry and with my new design I’m pushing myself to improve the blog in every aspect.
I’m practicing photography again – I finally learned how to work the Aperture and Shutter Speed after years of having as DSLR Camera – and I’m also writing constantly trying to find my voice and topics I’m interested in.
I really want this blog to look appealing and be something people want to read, so I’m continuing to practice and improve to make something I’m proud of!